There is always another side to every story. To every life. To every situation. And mostly, the grass is greener on the other side (I’ll ignore the blatant exceptions to this observation). I want to be a writer. A bona fide “I support myself with my writing” author but what does this life entail that I might not be cut out for?
I know there’s no perfect job for anyone, it’s just there are a select few where the drawbacks are manageable and weigh less in comparison to the attractive bits. I’ve mentally tried on quite a few different careers. The whittling process has exposed an underlying theme of books, creativity and literature. The beautiful thing about writing? It can complement every facet of life. You don’t have to have a degree in English or creative writing in order to pursue a life of creating fiction. I’m slowly wandering into the field of writing and the grass hasn’t begun to fade yet.
Perhaps I’m not giving the other side of my life the credit it deserves. I chose this path and it’s served me well for the past 4 years. I’ve enjoyed it, I’ve been able to live, I’ve taken myself on vacation because of it but most of all, it’s given me the freedom to explore. I haven’t been tethered to a job that truly sucks the life and time out of me. Once in my career I managed to find the balance that was the belle epoch. That was my green pasture.
It’s amazing how caught up we get on wanting something that is the opposite to what we have. Retired people go into consulting in their former profession, curly-haired women get seriously-damaging hair straightening processes all on order to join our idealized population. It’s a tiring way to live. I’m not saying settle for what you have, oh no. We need the mirage of greener pastures to spur us on to greater things and adventures that otherwise we might never enjoy. The hard part comes in balancing what we want with what we have and to discern when the time has come to call it quits, re-evaluate our goals and head in a new direction.
I want to be a published writer but my friend wisely told me to make sure I remember why I’m writing. It’s not for money or fame. It’s because I can’t imagine a world without books and creativity. It makes my soul shrivel up when I think that for some reason I would be barred from this. I may not work on my stories every day but I need to blog. I can’t go the span of a t.v. show without thinking about plots, characters, blog activity, my index card map on my wall. My life is completely immersed in the creative world. It sucks dragging myself out of it but I’m grateful for the forced visits to the other side of the fence because I know that when I get back into my work, my passion, the colours will be more vibrant, the air will be sweeter and yes, the grass will be greener.