Cue the Self-Doubt

 

(I’ve been working on this post all day and missed my posting deadline by under a half hour. I hate having gaps on my calendar. Frustrating!)

Writing requires stamina. I’ve been working pretty lightly on my writing lately so when I really focused on the CYOA and tried to sort everything out on my wall, I was worn out within the hour. That’s not good, is it?

 

I sat back and looked at the cards littering my bedroom wall and broke out in a cold sweat. What if I was making this too complicated? I never considered that this wouldn’t work. Is it possible to be overly ambitious in writing? Of course it is! It happens all the time!

 

Then the next question comes tearing along and side-blinds me. What am I doing? Is it normal for artists to start pulling back from their work? I’m having a hard time believing that my writing has the potential to take me to the “published writer” club. There’s confidence and then there’s denial. Confidence is what I have when things are going well. Denial is what happens when things are going badly but I’m convinced otherwise.

 

I’ve gotten sucked into the t.v. show Bones (damn you, Netflix!) and had a mini epiphany. Perhaps what I’m really looking for is to carve out a little niche in the publishing world while continuing to work. Maybe the best way I work is to have a profession from which I earn a living while my writing is a side job that I adore and is my hobby.

All I do know is that I have no idea what I want but I’ll continue to muddle through life to look for what feels like the best fit at the moment.

 

 

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