This weekend has been busy. I suppose this is what the summer is all about- social gatherings, lazy afternoons basking in the sun and double booking my days. And all this happens just when I have a major project to complete. Considering every other pie Murphy’s Law has its thumb in, I’m not going to complain about this one. The way I see it, I win either way. I either get my project done with time to spare or I get to live my life and fill it with fun things to do and the people who want to spend time with me.
I’m really enjoy the writing at the moment but this particular sub-genre of CYOA isn’t really my cup of tea. Don’t get me wrong, I love CYOAs and I’m absolutely looking forward to writing more but I want to try different story lines. It’s hard to dream up different threads sometimes and the way the loops have insinuated themselves is making story continuity extremely difficult. There’s going to be a lot of juggling and some very creative word choices to make sure everything works out and makes sense. I think I’ve really pushed myself to the far end of my abilities.
I really do love a challenge and am rubbing my hands together gleefully as I contemplate how this book is going to push my creative abilities. I think this is a big part of why I have trouble finishing a project. I get far enough in that I prove to myself that I can do it. The thrill of the chase and the need to think outside the box is exhilarating. Writing a horror story that takes place in an innocent, innocuous setting has intrigued me for ages! Plot twists appear all the time, catching me off guard and I’m constantly thinking of new stories.
Half the ideas that fly through my head are crap but every so often there’s one that just might end up being something. Those little gems are what I live for. I don’t want to be one of those writers paralyzed by the fear of failure or writer’s block. I want to write fearlessly and explore all the whims and fancies that my imagination can throw at me. I want to be able to have my cake and eat it too. What’s wrong with wanting to live life and experience all you can but at the same time live inside your head and create characters, worlds and essentially play god?
It’s scary where my brain can take me sometimes and not every idea gets put into writing but the important thing is that I’m always thinking and observing my surroundings. It’s the classic life of an artist. What is the story of the sad looking woman on the bus? Where is the little kid going? How could his/her mother send them out on their own when the child can’t be any older than 9? Of course I’ll also play my favourite lonely-child game: how do I look to an observer? What is my posture telling them? Do I look approachable? Aloof? Happy? Sad? Thoughtful? Wistful? Am I attractive today? What would a stranger think if I caught their eye? Perhaps I should write a short story about myself as seen through someone else.
This is how my brain works.
So, today I get to write, dance, and go for an evening stroll with a friend but the ideas are never too far below my consciousness. All it ever takes is a picture, fragment of a conversation or a glimpse of myself in a window to get me thinking. It’s hard to juggle living in the real world and in my head at the same time but it’s possible. If you haven’t tried it I highly recommend it. You’d be surprised at what you’ll discover about yourself.