My Creativity May be Dead but at Least I’m Still Alive


You may have wondered where I’ve gone. I’ve wondered that too. NaNo is a bust; I haven’t written one word at all this month. The guilt has me paralyzed. So I said pffft  to everything and I’m running away from my life for 3 weeks.


Maybe running away is a little dramatic but I am taking a vacation from every non-work-related activity as I recharge my emotional and creative batteries and re-prioritize things. I made the discovery last week that every extracurricular activity in my life has slowly become equally important and I’m considering taking on more.


As I went through my pay stubs for the year to start organizing things for tax season (yes, I am that disorganized) I made the stunning realization that the job I had at the beginning of the year had me working much less than I’m working now. In fact, on average, job A had me physically working roughly an average of  12-15 hours every 2 weeks (but in the office, available for appointments close to 70 hours) but currently job B has me working close to 50 hours with very few or no availability. No wonder I’m pooped at the end of the day.


Don’t get me wrong, I love where I am now and I love being this busy but it was a shock when I saw the difference between schedules. No wonder I’m having trouble fitting in my writing. I have no time to sneak some in at work!


So during this 3-week hiatus, I’m hoping to figure out what is truly important to me and build  schedule that will be sustainable. There may be some tough decisions but I want my creativity back. I miss the writing and by giving myself permission to stop thinking about it for a while I’m hoping I’ll spontaneously resume it. Maybe it’ll be short stories or maybe it’ll be sketching outlines for novels, maybe it’ll be finishing an incomplete work or maybe it’ll be editing. I don’t know.

I’m hoping I’ll be back much sooner than the 3 weeks and will take it easier the next time around. We shall see!