What Do You Mean No More Candy Canes?!

No more candy canes? What do you mean, no more candy canes?! What will I do without those delicious little pepperminty sticks, those little red and white stripy candies that you can turn into tiny reindeer? What about the Candy Cane Christmas Tree?

Holy Holly Balls! Take away the fake snow, the shiny tinsel and those scented pine cones but please, oh please, not my candy canes! What will I do for my oral fixation now? What am I supposed to suck on that’s equal parts shameless flirting and breath freshening? It’s not fair I tell you! A girl’s gotta be prepared for the mistletoe at all times!

Is it because they’re dangerous? I admit they’re easily whittled down into sharp points that more than one naughty kid has used to torment their younger sibling. Or have they become antiquated?Charming relics of a bygone era like Christmas Cards and Christmas jell-o moulds?

What is there to take it’s place? Surely not something that’s sugar-free, fat-free, calorie-free, taste-free. Who was it intended for? Ozonitarians?

This may not be reality just yet but give it time. Time may be a great healer but it’s also a relentless destroyer of things we love.


just promise me this- if the world suddenly becomes candy-cane free, stab me with the super pointy tip of one; I just can’t live without my candy canes!

© Sandra O’Driscoll 2012